Black Mirror (Season 4, Episode 4) "Hang the DJ" Discussion

• Synopsis:

1. Frank and Amy are matched up by a dating application referred to as "the System." The System pairs up potential matches and each user is given a circular tablet that instructs them on who they will meet, where they will meet, when they will meet, and how long the relationship will last. Frank and Amy's first match are with each other but they hit it off right from the start, and are sadden to part after their 12 hour relationship expiration dates. Despite the fact that the System is perceived to be perfect, Frank and Amy wonder if they should put their trust in the System or in each other.

• Discussion

I'll have to say right off the bat that I have not tried any online dating websites or applications, but that doesn't mean that I live under a rock. The majority of my friends are on multiple dating applications, and many of them have met their potential partners through these sites. I mean if you think about it, these dating applications are brilliant. It really does take away all the hard work of meeting someone, and users are able to talk to multiple prospects all at once. If one girl rejects you, it doesn't matter because there are at least 10 others waiting for you to message them back. It really is that easy. Plus, it's great for people who work a lot and do not have time to go out every weekend. It's easy to plan one date a week, rather then go out every weekend hoping to find the right person. 

The tricky thing about dating applications though is that despite the fact that are many members on the site, it is very hard to narrow down the "right person." That is why users talk and date multiple people all at once, so that it will be easier for them to narrow down the right person. The fact that there are so many people on dating sites also makes the dating experience less personal. Knowing that the person you are talking to is also talking to numerous other people, really detaches many people from taking the dating sites they are on too seriously.  

Also, it is very rare that first time users end up finding their perfect match right away. 

However, that is not the case for Frank and Amy and that is why their story is so interesting. Amy and Frank both confess that this is their first time in the System, and admit that they are both very nervous. The fact that they are so inexperienced and are able to bond over their nervousness is really cute, and I found that Frank and Amy's relationship was easy going right from the start. They are great together because they have the same sense of humor and are able to bounce jokes off one another; also, their chemistry always felt natural and not forced. Yet despite how well these two got along, there is that ticking 12 hour bomb that is in the back of their minds as well as ours.

Speaking of the relationship expiration date, I found this to be the most interesting aspect of the episode. One one hand, I can understand why many people would be against it. For Amy and Frank, when they first saw that they only had 12 hours together, they felt confused and rushed. Both parties asked their respective "Coach" if they should have sex or not since they had a limited time together. It is not because they didn't find each other attractive, but these are two people that are probably not into one night stands if the circumstance was different. However, knowing that they only had a few hours left could force them to rush the relationship even more than they normally would. I found this part really interesting because most people have one night stands because they just want to have sex. They are not looking for anything more, and if one of the them is, then well..that would be quite the pillow talk no? 

So the fact that Amy and Frank were both considering having sex just because they were trying to seize the moment was actually really sweet and different. I especially love the part where they first parted and Amy tells Frank that if they were to have this time again he would have definitely gotten laid. 

Since we're on the topic of sex-Amy's next match is a handsome man name Lenny who admits that he is basically a "veteran" when it comes to the dating application. He tells Amy right off the bat that they should have sex right away so they would know if they have any chemistry together, and she agrees thinking "why not." Despite the fact that Amy feels attracted to Lenny, she finds him a bit annoying especially when he takes a deep breath and goes "ahhh." How many times have you dreamt about someone super attractive but then once you get to know this person, realize that he or she isn't as great as you thought? 

Yet in Amy's case her and Lenny have to stay in their respective relationship for 9 months even though she knew, from the very beginning, that he wasn't the one. I can't imagine wasting my time like that, can you? 

In our world, if we find that we are not attractive to someone, we can cut it loose anytime we want with no consequences; however, as Amy and Frank both discussed in the beginning of the episode, free will isn't a part of the the System. They talk about life before the System and how people had to go and actively look for their perfect match, and agree how awful breakups are. Imagine a world where breakups wouldn't be painful? That instead of telling your partner that you do not want to be with them anymore (or vice versa), you both understand and agree on the expiration date. 

No tears, no questions, no worries-it's as simple as that.

As for Frank, he and his partner Nicola knew (her when he showed up late; and him when she ate without waiting for him) right from the start that they were wrong for each other. Yet the System still matched them up to be together for an entire year! Can you imagine being with someone you can't stand for an entire year just because some computer system told you to? The System knows that these two are not a match; yet, it still paired them together for an entire year. I think within the first few seconds the System should have known that these two were entirely wrong for each other. However, I do believe that it is important to know what we do not want in potential partners. Nicola wants a man that's on time and proper which clearly isn't Frank, and Frank wants a girl he can joke with which clearly isn't Nicola. Humans beings may not always know what we want, but you can be damn sure we know what we don't want. 

Back to the expiration date-like I said I found this to be the most interesting aspect of the episode and I stand by that. It would be so helpful to know how long people are meant to stay together because it can save so much trouble down the line. Imagining knowing that the person you are crushing over isn't the one for you; imagine how easy it would be to move on. To know that you guys would last 35 hours together, so you can mentally prepare yourself for the "breakup." Or the peace of mind in knowing that the person you like so much is the perfect match for you? 

However I do see where knowing too much can hurt both parties. When Frank and Amy both agree to not look at their expiration date and to just enjoy their time together, it seems like a great idea at first. They are going against the System, and dating on their own terms. Yet as Frank starts to fall in love with Amy, he can't stand not knowing how much more time they would have left. What if he wanted to plan a trip with her or take her somewhere special only to be notified that they only have a day left together? That constant ticking clock will always shadow their relationship, and I don't blame him for checking; I would have done the same thing. It's maddening not to know, and well I guess they don't say "curiosity killed the cat" for nothing. Frank's curiosity did kill their relationship and although I understand Amy's anger towards Frank's betrayal, I couldn't help but sympathize with him. He did, what I think anyone else would have done in his shoes.  

When the system was recalibrating and shortening their time together because of Frank's "one sided observation" many people may have seen it as the System punishing Frank but for me, I saw it as Frank's breaking his promise to Amy and the consequence of that broken promise. A lot of relationships are broken because people lie and do things they promise they wouldn't, and I saw it more of a foreshadowing of what is to come. Let's say the system still gave them 5 years together, once Amy finds out what Frank has done, she won't trust him anymore. Her mistrust in him will cause in a drift in their relationship, and maybe the System is taking that into account as it is reducing their time together.

I don't know how I feel about the ending, and as much as I like how "accurate" the System is, I still found the ending to be a bit "meh." However, it's pretty damn amazing that the system really does have a solid algorithm at work. The System would not pair up two people as one another's "ultimate match" unless they had at least a 99.8% success rate. Imagine the system having to run through this algorithm 1000 times for EACH COUPLE, and now times that by however many users are on the site. That's crazy. No wonder it is so popular and has such great ratings amongst its users. It's a lot more careful and constructed than dating applications these days. However, I wonder how much this much "dedication" would cost the users though?

With that said though, this episode didn't leave me feeling any strong emotions. It was a fun episode to watch, but there wasn't a crazy twist or turn to it, no underlying message, or unforgettable plot line. During the Season 4 trailer drop, this episode was the one I was looking forward to the most and it definitely let me down. It was just okay for me, and "okay" is never a word I want to use to describe any episode of Black Mirror. 

★ ★ .5/5